ArnoCorps - Scruffy Murphy's - Sunday 13th July 2008

Touch and go whether I attended this one, purely on health grounds. Fighting off a particularly aggressive virus is not the ideal state to be in in a small and sweaty venue. Worth making the effort?

Life Denied. Thanks to the vocalist Giles for the setlist. Saw them recently at South Birmingham College where they got that bad a sound it was impossible to review them. My heart sank during the first two tracks, as, stationed at the bar at least, the sound was only marginally better than the aforementioned gig. Thankfully I then noticed Jake from Slab at the front right hand corner of the stage. Nipped over to say hello and was pleasantly surprised at the difference in sound i.e. you could hear the guitars and it was reasonably loud. Totally different set from here on in thankfully. Essentially they play a mix of extreme metal styles, mainly focussing on death metal. Chemical Castration and Why? were apparently the first two songs of the set, prior to the audible section. Hell Of Your Own Creation Part 2 preceded the bodyblow of Stranglehold straight into Pain Divine before they aired their first, and as yet untitled, new track of the evening. It's always a good sign when a new song sounds as if the band have been playing it for years, and the band certainly seemed comfortable with it. Back to the older material with Hell Of Your Own Creation Part 1 and We Remember before they closed the set with another new and untitled track. Brave move but it worked well. Overall an enjoyable set, looking forward to seeing a full set with a good sound soon!!

River Freshney are from London and play a vicious blend of thrash and hardcore with a liberal sprinkling of black humour. This will become apparent with the song titles!! Definitely not a band for the politically correct lobby... Before the review I have to thank the guitarist, Wez, for the setlist and the chat shortly after they completed their set.. good to meet you fella!! Wez plays guitars that are demodified - both were BC Rich and both had the top (neck) pick ups removed. They were also strung as four strings with the E and B strings (in standard tuning) being removed. Lee on bass continues the trend playing a three string. Nick batters a standard kit into submission. And then we have Dr Optimus on vocals. The closest comparison I can draw is with the Rev D from Hospital Of Death, both in terms of frontman persona and tongue in cheek humour. Although it has to be said the former's banter between songs was far blacker and sicker, whilst still remaining incredibly funny (as will be evidenced by the song titles he was announcing). Their setlist spilt their performance into four sections plus encore so let's replicate that. The first section comprised Your Snoring Is My Foreplay, Weetaprix and Tatsscrapmetalandmeat. Then they launched into Sex With Miners, It's Not Rape If You Shout Surprise and Where's My Fuckin' Gin? and by now it was clear that a) they were going to take no prisoners musically or lyrically and b) they were having immense fun sharing their deranged take on this form of music. The third section is listed as the quick song section!! Bob Hoskins Going Mental In A Bin, Is Scarlett Johannson's Cunt As Pretty As Her Face?, Gay Pride Sunshine and Titwank all being suitably relentless. Closed the set with The Lonely Fisherman (The Mariner Mosh), We Bite (Misfits cover) and Gift Wrapped Spastic complete with actions and impersonations - very sick but carried off effortlessly. A very short pause preceded I Told Thee It Were Russia and their carnage was complete.

And so the scene was set for ArnoCorps to add the final killer blow which they did with considerable style. I know I haven't been at my best healthwise this week, but every time I have attempted to write this review in my head it's seemed woefully inadequate. Let's see how imaginative and open-minded you are...

ArnoCorps are a five piece band who swear allegiance to the ancient Austrian folk legends that have unfortunately been diluted on film by a certain Governor of California aka Arnie. The vast majority of their songs are film titles and in a typically understated way their new album is titled The Greatest Band Of All Time. The band wear combat gear, in most cases complete with camouflage make-up, shades are essential, as are enormous Cuban cigars. You still with me?? Guess not. Take my word for it, next time they tour go and see them. Any band with a frontman who can get a venue packed full of rockers to all jog on the spot before the band will perform Running Man have got to be seen.

Inspired lunacy is about as close as I can get to describing them, and this in itself sells them horrifyingly short. Musically there are hundreds of bands out there who are more technically proficient, yet none who can make you grin, or belly-laugh, in the same way. Not saying there's anything wrong with the thrash/classic metal they produce of course. The obvious comedy metal bands on the circuit that spring to mind are London's Abbatoir (Abba songs played in a thrash metal styling) and the mighty Hospital Of Death (thrash metal meets "Casualty"). ArnoCorps are the real deal. They are tight enough as a band, if nothing exceptional, but their self-belief is second to none. Their vocalist and frontman Holz is quite frankly inspired. Absolute conviction from the word go, you lose count of the number of times he says "goddamn heroes" and "ballsy," yet it all makes sense. Nearly forgot about the crowd surfing - both form Holz in conventional fashion and from the bass player astride a guitar case. Pointless waffling on any longer - fantastic entertainment throughout, just get off your arse and go and see them. For completeness the setlist (thanks Holz) was; Arno Intro, Predator, Terminator, Commando, Collateral Damage (getting the common theme yet?!!!), True Lies, You Lack Discipline, End Of Days, Running Man, I'm Ballsy, Crom (Strong On His Mountain), Wheel Of Pain, Red Heat, Total Recall and Last Action Hero before the encores Real American (Hulk Hogan entrance theme) and Eraser.

How do you sum that up then? Nearly heard a full Life Denied set at last and it worked well. Looking forward to seeing them again soon. River Freshney are very close to being sectioned and played a belter of a set. ArnoCorps probably have been sectioned and subsequently escaped. What a performance!! Great entertainment, you goddamn heroes were completely ballsy! Great to see Scruffy's packed, looking forward to ArnoCorps's next visit to these shores when I'm sure they will be creating mayhem in a far bigger venue - can't wait!!